“I Do”…Later in Life

More couples are waiting to tie the knot

“I have friends who are much younger than me and fearful they’ll never find ‘the one.’ I reassure them that I met my fiancé in my late thirties, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

Photos: Jermaine Medina

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My husband and I got married at 40.

Whew. I never imagined saying “I do” at that point in life. In fact, once I turned 36 I wondered if anyone would want to date me and if I’d die a lonely, old woman.

We can thank society for making us question our self-worth when it comes to marrying later in life.

But life is unpredictable, and I can say with 100% confidence — tying the knot at 40 was the right age for both me and my husband.

We were more secure with ourselves, financially stable and we’d both been through divorces. Although painful, those break-ups taught us a lot about ourselves and what we were looking for in a future partner.

I have friends who are much younger than me and fearful they’ll never find “the one.” I reassure them that I met my fiancé in my late thirties, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

According to Statista, the median age for grooms in 2001, was 26.9 and brides were 25.1 when they got married. Fast forward to 2019 when the median age for grooms changed to 30.3, and brides reported being an average age of 28.4.

These days, more couples are waiting to take the plunge until they know what life is like living under one roof.

According to the Pew Research Center, 48% of adults in the U.S. believe living together before tying the knot gives them a better chance at a successful marriage than those who wait. Meanwhile, 13% of couples think living together before marriage gives you a worse chance at being successful, and 38% believe it doesn’t make a difference.

As for myself, I strongly believe the failed relationships, heartaches and meeting multiple Mr. Wrongs made me even more grateful for my husband.

I asked him why he also feels getting married at 40 was the right choice for him.

My husband’s story.

As I mentioned, my husband and I had each been through divorces several years before we met. He’s always said the time alone gave him an opportunity to heal and grow.

My husband read self-help books. He looked back on mistakes he made in the past, and did a lot of personal reflection.

By the time we met, he had learned to live happily — alone.

My husband said, “I got to know more about myself. I felt like I was more emotionally equipped getting married at our age. You have more life experience. As you get older, you know more about what you want.”

“I felt like I was more emotionally equipped getting married at our age. You have more life experience. As you get older, you know more about what you want.”

My husband agrees we needed those highs and lows in life before finding each other. It’s made us appreciate one another. Plus it’s made us better communicators, especially when it comes to expressing our needs and understanding our love languages. If you aren’t familiar with what I’m talking about — read Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. My husband and I read the book when we first started dating, and we truly believe it’s helped us throughout out relationship. We’ve built a healthy, strong foundation that we lean on when times get tough.

For years, our society wrote the rulebook of when couples should get married. But these days, people are waiting much later in life to say “I do.” For some, careers, traveling and chasing dreams come first before settling down.

I’m here to tell you, it’s OK to worry if you’re in your mid-to-late thirties and beyond and not in a serious relationship. But don’t give up on your search for love. Your “person” will come along, and you’ll be happy you waited.

Vows & Forever is a wedding vows & speech writing service that also specializes in speech coaching. Maria Cid is the founder and owner of Vows & Forever, LLC.

This post may contain affiliate links, which means we earn commission if you make a purchase.

Source: https://www.statista.com/statistics/371933/median-age-of-us-americans-at-their-first-wedding/

Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/