Advice: Postponing (or Cancelling) Your Wedding

Whether it’s because you need to postpone your date because of the pandemic or just have had a change of heart — here’s what you need to know during this difficult time

Making the decision to change your wedding date or cancel it altogether is not easy to do. For some, it’s heartbreaking. For others, it’s embarrassing. For most, it’s a lot of work.

It means changing plans, informing guests and figuring out how much it will cost to break contracts.

It can be overwhelming, but it’s possible. We’ve got a checklist to help you out.

Call your wedding insurance company.

Here’s to hoping you got wedding insurance for those “just in case” moments like this one. Wedding insurance only covers certain situations, however, such as severe weather and sudden illness. But it will help you with any financial loss you can incur for canceling on your vendors.

Look through your contracts.

Read the fine print. What happens when you break a contract? Or postpone your date? Will you forfeit your deposit or can you salvage a percentage if you’re just moving your wedding date? Figure out if there’s a way for you to get your deposits returned to you (or at least a fraction of it). Also check to see whether your vendors allow you to walk away without paying under certain circumstances, such as “an act of God.”

“Remember it’s no one’s business why you’re canceling or postponing your wedding.”

Reach out to your venue & vendors.

Call your venue and vendors one-by-one. Explain your situation honestly, and with the understanding that they’re running a business. By canceling your wedding, it means money out of their pockets too.

Since you’ve already done your homework by looking through your contracts there should be no surprises when you touch base with your vendors about having to pay fees or give up any deposits.

If you’re postponing your wedding date, keep in mind that your vendors may not all be available on your new wedding date.

Tell your wedding guests.

If you’re canceling your wedding and you sent out your save-the-dates, but you haven’t mailed your invitations — the most appropriate way to inform your guests is by a phone call or online announcement (email or Evite). You don’t need to go into detail behind the decision if you don’t want to.

If invitations have already gone out, sending an online announcement or another card announcing your wedding has been cancelled is the best, most courteous way to tell your guests. Remember many of them may have already booked flights, made accommodations or hired babysitters. Choosing not to say anything at all or leaving it up to the rumor mill will likely not sit well with your guests.

If you’re postponing your wedding, tell your guests as soon as you can through an online announcement or a card in the mail. That way they can change any travel or work plans, if necessary. You can send another formal invitation when you’ve chosen another date.

Wedding gifts.

If you’re postponing your wedding date, there’s no need to return any wedding gifts that were already given to you since you’re technically still getting married.

However, if you’re canceling your nuptials — then it’s only fair to return your wedding gifts, as well as engagement or shower gifts, to your guests.

Tying up other loose ends.

Don’t forget to call the store where you bought your wedding dress or suit. If it hasn’t been made yet, you may be able to cancel the order. But typically, once you put down a deposit you’re agreeing to purchase the dress (or suit) no matter what.

If you’ve blocked off hotel rooms for your guests, call the hotel to see if you’re inside a window where cancellations are allowed. If all you’re doing is postponing your wedding, they may be able to accommodate you.

This is a tough situation to be in, and we know it’s not easy to unravel the work you put into planning a wedding. However, the work you do now may be a lot easier than the work you’ll have to do in a marriage that was never meant to be.

Remember it’s no one’s business why you’re canceling or postponing your wedding. Tell family and friends that their support is all that’s needed right now, and you’ll open up if and when you’re ready.

Written By Vows & Forever Founder and Veteran Journalist Maria Cid. V&F is a wedding vows & speech writing service that also specializes in speech coaching and wedding timeline coordination.