Tips on keeping a bridezilla at bay (while keeping your friendship intact)

Wedding planning is stressful, and it can turn even the most laid-back brides into a complete mess.

Unfortunately, her closest targets for unloading her frustrations and anger will likely be her fiancé(e), relatives and wedding party. The closer the wedding date, the more intense the bridezilla moments can be too. We feel for her — and for you too.

How do you deal with a bridezilla who is likely your best friend, sister or sister-in-law — someone you’re truly happy for and want to support, and know once the wedding is over so will their nightmarish behavior too?

Here are some tips to help you deal with a bridezilla while keeping your relationship intact.

Listen.

In normal circumstances during your friendship, you may have no problem telling the bride-to-be to snap out of it. But since this is their wedding, and they’re likely under a ton of pressure and stress — you’ll have to take what they say with a grain of salt. The best advice when a bridezilla is on a rampage or going off about her frustrations? Try and listen without taking it personal. Brush it off, let her vent and try not to give any advice unless she’s asking for it. Just hope that by nodding your head, her temper tantrum blows over.

Don’t enable her.

That being said, if she’s being unreasonable and asks you for advice — try to steer her in a more positive direction. Tell her that a wedding is meant to celebrate love, and not about throwing a perfect party. Remind her that her future spouse will love her whether her bouquet is made of peonies or baby’s breath (and that he won’t notice anyway).

Keep your distance.

If a bridezilla is constantly yelling at you or unloading her emotional baggage onto you — you don’t have to take it. In fact, we advise that you keep your distance. While we don’t think it’s a good idea to ghost your friend or family member, especially if you’re part of the wedding party, we also know that time away may help her figure things out on her own. If she wonders why you’ve become M.I.A., be honest and tell her you want to be there for her — but it’s not OK to be rude, disrespectful or demanding. You can also explain that you want to show up for her, but need to show up for yourself first and foremost. Say it with honesty and kindness, no matter what.

If the situation has turned really toxic, be honest with her instead of bottling it in. That could do more harm than good.

Do something fun.

Plan a brunch or a fun outing of shopping, wine tasting or a spa day. Sometimes all you need is to do is get a bridezilla to relax and laugh to pull herself together. Don’t be afraid to tell her that wedding planning talk isn’t allowed on your day of fun. She may have such a good time, and realize how difficult she’s been. Especially after seeing how much thought you’ve put into the day.

Lean on each other.

If you’re part of the wedding party and others have witnessed these bridezilla moments — lean on each other for support. This means you shouldn’t talk badly about the bride-to-be. Instead talk to the other bridesmaids about how you can support your friend or family, and break the spell. Maybe it’s planning a girl’s date together or tackling some of her wedding tasks.

Remember that it’s OK for a bride-to-be to have an outburst or two, especially on her wedding day. That’s not uncommon, and sometimes the release of emotions is all that’s needed to get over a challenging moment. If the bridezilla moments are getting out-of-hand, however, don’t sit back and become a target. Do something about it, including getting out of dodge if you need to.

Written By Vows & Forever Founder and Veteran Journalist Maria Cid. V&F is a wedding vows & speech writing service that also specializes in speech coaching and wedding timeline coordination.