The No Show Wedding Guest

Solutions to soften the financial blow on your wallet when wedding guests drop out last-minute

You’ve sent out the invitations. You’ve received the RSVPs. Maybe you’ve even spread the message of how much it cost per person at your wedding. It’s not cheap.

You’ve done everything you possibly can to make sure your guests who plan to attend actually follow through.

But days before your wedding, your friend’s kid gets sick. That’s three people who can’t go. No big deal. Totally understandable. But then another couple tells you they can’t make it. Wait, what? A day later, you get a text from a relative who casually says they can’t stay for the reception. Breathe.

Then your wedding day comes along, and even more guests are missing. One friend laughs, shrugs it off and says her husband is busy with “some work project."

Now you’re totaling the math in your head: you’ve just paid for more than a grand of food for your No Show Wedding Guests.

If you don’t think it’ll happen to you, think again. Emergencies come up. Situations suddenly happen.

Let’s take a look at what you can do from losing too much money when there’s still time before your wedding.

Pull Out Your “Maybe” List.

There’s a reason why wedding invitations are typically sent six to eight weeks before the Big Day. It gives you time to receive RSVP cards, and make changes to your guest list. If you have people changing their “yes” to a “no,” whip out your “maybe” list. There’s nothing wrong with sending a late invitation. Simply tell them you were able to find the space or cash to welcome more people to your wedding. You can also just be honest. If you’re dealing with relatives suddenly dropping out, tell your friends you’re excited to open up your wedding to more of your crew.

“…it’s typical for a small percentage of wedding guests to be no-shows. No matter how much you politely remind guests to show up, life happens.”

The “Extra” Table.

Some couples have reported wedding guests, who never sent back their RSVP cards, showing up on the Big Day anyway. Unless you’ve gone through your list prior to your wedding and made contact with everyone you didn’t hear from, you may have a surprise guest or two at your wedding. Then there are those guests who don’t tell you they’re inviting a plus one. Well, because of your No Show Guests — you now have the room to accommodate these surprise guests.

The Vendor Table.

If you haven’t given your caterer your final head count, and wedding guests are dropping like flies — use this opportunity to fill those spots with your vendors. That’s assuming you haven’t folded them in to your total already. It’s customary to feed your photographer, videographer, DJ/Emcee, wedding planner, band and their assistants.

Talk to Your Caterer.

If an emergency happens, and a wedding guest or two can’t make it — consider telling your caterer about the situation. Sometimes they’ll bend the rules and shave off those costs even after you’ve passed the deadline for the final head count. But try to be reasonable. If you’re asking your caterer to make an exception each time you find out a guest can’t make it, then you may be taking advantage of their kindness and understanding.

Have that Difficult Conversation.

We don’t suggest using this option on your solo guests, couples or small families. Unfortunately, it’s normal for a fraction of guests to not show up at weddings. However, if you have — for example — an entire family who suddenly can’t make it (we’re talking non-emergencies), then explain the financial loss their absence has on you. Hopefully, they understand and send you a monetary gift to make it up or they rearrange their schedule so they can attend.

PRO TIP: Follow up with every wedding guest who doesn’t reply to your invitation. Some people forget to send in their RSVP cards or aren’t familiar with wedding invitation etiquette. Don’t just assume that a wedding guest is a “no” if they fail to send in their RSVP card. Following up decreases the chance of no-shows at your wedding.

Be Understanding.

Like we said above — it’s typical for a small percentage of wedding guests to be no-shows. No matter how much you politely remind guests of your wedding date, life happens. It’s your Big Day. Let it go and relax. Focus on the guests who attended, and most importantly — your future spouse.

Written By Vows & Forever Founder and Veteran Journalist Maria Cid. V&F is a wedding vows & speech writing service that also specializes in speech coaching and wedding timeline coordination.