Making the Choice of Who Walks You Down the Aisle

Non-traditional options that we love to see

“The decision to have my dad walk me down the entire aisle symbolized how he’d been there for me all my life. Meeting my stepfather halfway was a symbol of how he helped raise me later on in life.”

It’s one of the most special moments of a wedding: the simple, yet profound act of a father walking his daughter down the aisle — before he “gives her away.”

So what happens when your father is no longer in your life or you don’t have a close relationship? We know it can be difficult to think about walking down the aisle with someone other than your dad. For others, it may not be a dilemma at all.

The number one rule about weddings is that — there are no rules. Family, cultural and religious traditions can influence the decisions you make when tying the knot. Ultimately, couples should follow their hearts and do what feels right. Even if they need to make difficult decisions.

Here are options for brides when making their entrance into the ceremony:

Walk With Your Father.

Typically, the bride is escorted down the aisle by her father. If you choose to wear your veil over your face, your father will lift it after you both arrive beside the groom, give you a kiss and then hand you off. Alternatively, the groom can lift the veil. However, more brides these days are choosing to wear their veil on top or on the back of their heads and away from their faces.

With Your Mother.

Some brides aren’t close to their father or he is no longer here with us. In these cases, brides have walked down the aisle with their mothers. This is also the case for brides of single mothers. Brides will sometimes ask their moms to escort them down the aisle to show their appreciation for playing both parent roles.

“There is nothing wrong with choosing to walk down the aisle alone. In fact, brides choose to do so because they feel the tradition of being escorted down the aisle is archaic.”

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With Another Relative or Family Friend.

Some brides grew up with a father figure in their life, such as a relative or family friend. Having that person escort them down the aisle can serve as a “thank you” for the bond they’ve created. Another option to consider is walking down with someone you’re close with, including a brother, cousin or even best friend.

With Both Parents.

There are brides who pick both parents to walk side-by-side with them. It’s a way of honoring both parents for being there for you, and in some cultures — it’s tradition for a bride to walk down the alter with mom and dad in tow.

With a Stepparent.

Many people come from blended families and have stepparents they would like to honor on their wedding day, including having them on their arm when entering the ceremony. A stepparent can be a natural alternative when your own father can’t be there for you on your wedding day.

Solo.

There is nothing wrong with choosing to walk down the aisle by yourself. In fact, there are brides who feel the tradition of being escorted down the aisle is archaic, so they choose to walk alone.

In some cases, brides walk solo because they’re not close to their father, their father has passed away and/or they don’t have a father figure in their life.

PRO TIP: If you choose to walk alone because your father has passed away or other circumstances will keep him away (such as an illness), consider carrying a special flower or memento to honor him.

When I got married, my father walked me down the aisle and then we met my stepfather halfway. The decision to have my dad walk me down the entire aisle symbolized how he’d been there for me all my life. Meeting my stepfather halfway was a symbol of how he helped raise me later on in life. Both gave me away, and I made sure both of them got a “father-daughter” dance with me during the reception.

Keep in mind that although there are “traditions,” there also are no set rules in weddings. When we focus on wanting to follow what society or Hollywood have told us weddings should look like, we are likely to be disappointed if we can’t fit that “mold.” It’s your day, and your celebration — you can make up the rules and do what’s right for you and your future spouse. Most importantly, do what’s right in your heart.

Vows & Forever is a wedding vows & speech writing service that also specializes in speech coaching. Maria Cid is the founder and owner of Vows & Forever, LLC.