First Looks: The Pros, Cons & Alternatives

“It’s a chance to take a moment, spend time with one another and breathe before a million eyes are one you.”

For some it’s an easy “yes” or “no.” For others, it’s one of the most difficult decisions of their wedding day.

When it comes to first looks, many brides and grooms say it was one of the best decisions they ever made. However, some say they were glad they didn't allow their significant other to see them until they were walking down the aisle.

What exactly is a first look? It’s the first time a couple sees each other as a bride and groom before they tie the knot. The meeting is arranged before the wedding ceremony, and typically takes place in a private setting. The couple’s wedding photographer and videographer are, however, present to capture the special moment. Sometimes first looks include immediate family members and the couple’s wedding party.

Let’s explore the benefits, disadvantages and alternatives to first looks.

It gives you time alone.

Many couples say one of the main reasons behind their decision on having a first look is to have a moment with their future spouse before the chaos of their wedding day begins. It can also help calm nerves before walking down the aisle. First looks are also a perfect opportunity to exchange private wedding vows or letters.

You can get the tears out of the way.

Some of us are afraid of being overcome with emotions at the alter — whether it’s not wanting to cry in front of your guests, ruining your makeup or all of the above. A first look before your ceremony can get the tears out of the way, and give you a chance to touch up your makeup before you walk down the aisle. But remember, it can be just as emotional seeing each other the second time around at the alter. Take a look at this groom, who was brought to tears, even after a first look with his fiancee.

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It gives you more time to spend enjoying your wedding.

Possibly one of the top reasons for a first look is to take as many pictures as possible before the ceremony instead of during your cocktail hour and reception. It cuts down on the time your guests are waiting around for you, and maximizes the time you have with them on your wedding day.

Pro Tip: It can sometimes take an hour or more to take pictures with your spouse, immediate family and wedding party. Wrangling everyone to one location can eat up time. Try and delegate the task to a relative or family member of having people in place for photos immediately after the ceremony.

Those are the main benefits of a first look. Now here are some of the disadvantages.

You may not have the same reaction at the alter.

You’ve already seen each other, and had that special moment together — so meeting each other at the alter may not have as much of an emotional impact. If this doesn’t matter to you, then go for it.

“Why not think outside the box and have a first look with a parent? It’s a chance for your father or mother to spend time with their ‘little girl’ before starting your new life.”

You’ll have to be ready early.

While a first look allows you to save time during your wedding by taking the bulk of the pictures before the ceremony, that also means you’ll have to get ready a lot earlier. You may be exhausted by the end of your wedding day.

It may cost more.

For brides, it also means you may need to pay extra to have your makeup artist stay for touchups after your first look. Since you’ll also need your photographer and videographer to document your first look, that means possibly paying them for a longer day too.

You may feel awkward.

A first look is supposed to be one of the most special moments of your wedding day, and you may feel pressured to react a certain way or show a specific emotion. Try not to force it. If you don’t cry or tear up, that’s OK. Smiling, staring into each other’s eyes and sharing a laugh are just as meaningful.

Don’t want to do a traditional first look? Here are some other options.

First “touch.”

Some couples want to calm their nerves by touching or talking to each other before the ceremony, but not necessarily seeing each other. A perfect alternative to a first look is a first touch — standing back-to-back or behind a wall while holding hands. It’s a romantic photo opp too.

“Some brides do a first look with their bridesmaids, and yes — even their fiancé’s groomsmen!”

“Hidden” first looks.

We’ve seen unique first looks where a bride or groom will stand in different rooms, yet not too far so they can’t hear one another. You can sing, read each other a love letter or exchange custom vows in this private, intimate setting without taking a peek at each other before walking down the aisle.

Father, daughter first look.

Why not think outside the box and have a first look with a parent? These moments are not only sweet and unforgettable — they’re also priceless. It’s a chance for your father or mother to spend time with their “little girl.” Again, it’s also a great opportunity to take family pictures before the ceremony instead of during the wedding itself.

Wedding party first look.

Some brides do a first look with their bridesmaids, and yes — even their fiancé’s groomsmen! Why not do something unique, and share a special moment with your wedding party? It may also help take the edge off if you’re nervous about walking down the aisle.

The first look of a wedding can be done in so many ways, and no matter who it’s with — it’s an intimate moment that you’ll remember for a lifetime when you look back on your Big Day. It’s a chance to take a moment, spend time with one another and breathe before a million eyes are on you.

Vows & Forever is a wedding vows & speech writing service that also specializes in speech coaching. Maria Cid is the founder and owner of Vows & Forever, LLC.