When I asked a high school friend to be one of my bridesmaids, I had no idea her religion would impact what she’d be able — or not be able — to wear at my wedding.

She explained she couldn’t wear the strapless dress I’d chosen for my wedding party, because it exposed her undergarment — which is also known as a Temple garment, Mormon underwear or just garment.

I quickly did my research and learned the garments are sacred, and endowed members of The Church of Latter Day Saints are only allowed to remove them in certain situations (for example, swimming).

Until then, I had never heard of a Temple garment. I didn’t know what to do. I’d already chosen a dress for my bridesmaids, and envisioned all of them looking the same.

There were several options I considered, and some I didn’t.

Allow a Shawl.

If you’re absolutely set on having your bridesmaids wear the same dress — and the style will expose your LDS bridesmaid’s garment — consider allowing her to use a shawl or bolero. As long you’re OK with her looking slightly different than the rest of your wedding party, this is probably the best compromise out of all the options.

Choose someone else.

If a shawl is not an option for you, but you don’t want to budge on the dresses, then you may need to make the difficult decision of asking her to step down as a bridesmaid. My friend told me there would be no hard feelings if I wanted to replace her with someone else. Here’s hoping your friend shows the same understanding if you go this route.

Removal of the undergarment.

I’m not a LDS member so I won’t weigh in on what should be done in this situation. Instead I offer you opinions from a discussion among Mormon members on Reddit after a bridesmaid was asked to go without her garment for a non-LDS wedding.

A Reddit user named smacktaix replied, “It's well-accepted that there are some activities for which the garment need not be worn. It's never intended that you wear it 24/7 through literally any circumstance.” Another user by the name of thegilashark wrote, “Donning a bridesmaids' dress sans-garments for your non-Mormon family wedding is no worse than taking them off to go running. Sometimes the garments (sic) don't suit every activity.”

But then there is this opinion, written by a Reddit user whose profile and username are now deleted, “I like the ‘Don't look for opportunities to take it off.’ statement. This is entirely personal, and you should counsel with the Lord. Don't let a redditor tell you what is right or not.”

Different dresses.

I actually wanted my friend to be a part of my wedding no matter what. So I ditched the uniform look and allowed my bridesmaids to wear different dresses, and even allowed them to choose the style. My LDS bridesmaid was able to pick a dress with sleeves that would cover her garment.

If you’re on the other side of this situation (the LDS friend being asked to be part of a non-LDS wedding) be ready to have a conversation about your clothing restrictions. Prepare for the worst case scenario of being asked to step down as a bridesmaid. Try to be open with the future bride and let her know right away so she can weigh all her options before it’s too late.

Your friendship is likely special enough to have an understanding, productive discussion albeit it tough. After all, you were asked to be a bridesmaid for a reason.

Vows & Forever is a wedding vows & speech writing service that also specializes in speech coaching. Maria Cid is the founder and owner of Vows & Forever, LLC.

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/lds/comments/3z8l1i/garments_with_bridesmaid_dress/