We explain how to prevent your dream wedding from becoming someone’s nightmare

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The bride gifted these satin robes to her maid of honor, bridesmaids & mother.

Photo: Tim Nusog.

Being asked to be a part of a bride tribe is an honor, isn’t?

Sometimes we forget, however, it comes with a lot of responsibility: planning and executing the bachelorette party or bridal shower, and possibly paying for your bridesmaid dress, shoes, jewelry, hair and makeup.

Not to mention, if it’s a destination wedding — you’ll be paying for a hotel and transportation too. It can get pricey.

But do you ever wonder — why should all of that fall on a bridesmaid? After all, a bridesmaid is being proposed to by the bride, not volunteering for the role.

Shouldn’t the dress, at least, be something the bride is willing to pay for?

In general, bridesmaids are expected to pay for their dress. In my book, I believe the bride should pay for part, if not all, of the cost of her bride tribe’s dresses. My girlfriends were so grateful for the gesture when I got married.

There are many reasons why I think the bride should, in fact, foot the bill. Don’t agree? Remember there are exceptions to every decision. Let’s explore them.

The destination wedding.

If you’re getting married on a tropical island or even in another state, travel expenses can add up for your guests. Keep in mind this is your wedding, not your guests — these decisions fall on you and your fiancé(e) (unless your demanding in-law is choosing the location for you, yikes). If your wedding party is forced to travel, consider paying for your bridesmaids dresses. If not the entire cost, a partial amount would be a nice “thank you” to your best girlfriends for making the trek to stand by your side on your Big Day.

Expensive bridesmaids dresses.

If you’re opting for bridesmaid dresses that cost hundreds of dollars it may be only fair to pay for them. Bridesmaid dresses can range anywhere from $50 to as much as $350, if not more. If you decide on dresses that are in the higher range, consider paying for something else if you don’t pay for the dress. Maybe their shoes, hair and makeup or accessories.

Bridesmaids on a budget.

If one of your best girlfriends is going through a financial rough patch then it may be a kind move to help her out financially. Supportive friends recognize when an amiga is in need. Don’t let your wedding day leave her struggling for cash or unable to fulfill her bridesmaid’s duties because the dress you chose is out of her price range. Remember we all have different family and life situations as well as salaries.

PRO TIP: Reach out to your bridesmaids one-on-one. A private conversation to discuss the price range they’re comfortable with is a great way to make them feel included in the decision and prevent any awkward moments in a group discussion.

Make it a bride tribe decision.

One way to prevent uncomfortable situations is to vote as a group on a dress. The wedding industry is so massive that the options are almost endless. You can find great quality dresses without breaking the bank. Task your bridesmaids to find a few options, and go from there. That way the group is setting the price or even look, and it doesn’t all fall on the bride.

It’s part of their gift.

The bride and groom often give their wedding party gifts of appreciation. When my husband and I got married, we paid for the bridesmaid dresses, groomsmen suits and the attire for our flower girls and ring bearers. Many of them traveled to be part of the festivities so we wanted to show our gratitude by taking at least one expense off their list.

If you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid, and you can’t seem to cough up the cash for your friend’s wedding — be honest with yourself and the bride. You may be surprised. The bride may want to help you out financially, because all that matters is that you’re next to her on her wedding day.

As a bride, try to be realistic. Consider your wedding location, bridesmaid attire costs, travel expenses and how far out your wedding date is from now. If it’s not for another two years, then it may be reasonable for your bridesmaids to pay for their attire over time. But if it’s a half year away, then think about whether you’re asking your bridesmaids to spend an exorbitant amount of money in a short span.

Communication is key. You’re asking your best gal pals to be at the end of the aisle with you for a reason. You wouldn’t want your dream wedding to be someone’s nightmare.

Written By Vows & Forever Founder and Veteran Journalist Maria Cid. V&F is a wedding vows & speech writing service that also specializes in speech coaching and wedding timeline coordination.