A simple guide to help the overwhelmed bride-to-be

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There are thousands of web sites and and articles for couples to give them a good jumpstart when planning their weddings.

Yet — brides and grooms still hit wedding forums to ask others for advice, and vent about being overwhelmed.

Here’s a simple list to help you get started. We’ll leave out some of the smaller items just in case you’re not worried about the little details — and to keep you from becoming overloaded with information.

PRO TIP: Get a wedding planning book to sort out all your plans, ideas, notes and vendor contracts

1. Figure out your budget. It’s important to have a budget in mind as you make decisions and book vendors during wedding planning — from the venue to even the cocktails you want at your wedding — or you’ll find yourself spending more than what you can afford. Decide on a budget with your significant other so you’re both on the same page.

2. Secure your venue. Your venue will determine how many guests you can invite, what type of wedding you’ll have (for example: boho chic, beachy, luxurious or casual) and whether you can bring in your own caterer or are required to go with the venue’s preferred list. Because this will likely be your largest purchase (especially, if catering and alcohol bill are included), it will determine how much money is leftover in your budget for the other items on your checklist. Finding a venue will also secure your wedding date. The pandemic forced many couples to reschedule their weddings so book as far in advance as possible. We talk about that here.

3. Hunt for a caterer. If your wedding venue allows you to bring in food from an outside caterer then you’ll want to find one right away. Caterers can be booked months and even years in advance. Food is important to guests, especially if a wedding is during meal time. If you’re having a small celebration and are just doing appetizers/hors d’oeuvres — then this doesn’t need to be as high on your priority list. Just make sure you’re not scrambling at the last minute.

4. Set a wedding date and time. You’ve got a date, but your venue may set the time of your wedding for you. Some venues are more flexible and allow couples to choose a day or night wedding. Deciding on the time of your wedding will help you decide the dress code for you and your guests.

5. Say “yes” to the dress. Book appointments at several shops and boutiques now even if your wedding is more than a year out. Some dresses can take that long to make. Then there are the alterations. Grooms, start looking too. Stuck on whether to wear a tux or suit? Here’s some guidance to help you choose.

6. Find an officiant. If you’re getting married at a church then you’ll typically be required to go with who the church is providing. If you’re getting married outside of a church, you’ll have to choose whether you’re going to include any religious or cultural traditions. Do your research, look at reviews and interview potential officiants before you choose one. You want an officiant who is experienced, and matches with the tone you’d like to set for your wedding ceremony. Asking someone you know? Make sure they’re up to the task, and they’ll be the right fit for you and your future spouse.

7. Book your florist, DJ/emcee, wedding planner, baker for your wedding cake, photographer and videographer now. Just like finding the right officiant, do your research, look at reviews and compare prices before booking these vendors. But don’t wait to cross these big items off your checklist. The more popular the vendors, the likely they’ll be booked far in advance with other weddings.

8. Guest List. Now that you have your venue and know how much your food will cost — you can decide how many guests you’ll invite and who you want to invite. The number of guests that your venue allows will determine if you need to whittle down or expand your guest wish list.

9. Save-the-dates and invitations. Send your save-the-dates once you choose a date, time and city that you’ll be getting married in so that guests know whether they’re free and need to travel. Work on invitations now as they can take months to print or produce. Typically, save-the-dates are sent 6 months to a year from the wedding date.

   PROTIP: Invitations are sent out 6-8 weeks before the Big Day. Send them out earlier than that, and guests will most likely forget to RSVP or even forget about the wedding.

10. Propose to your wedding party. Choose how many and who will be in your wedding party. Then propose to them: ask if they would do the honor of standing next to you on your Big Day. This step will help you begin the search for bridesmaid dresses and groomsmen suits or tuxes.

Phew! Those are the big items for planning your wedding.

From here, you can work on the smaller items. But it’s important to note, little things can add up and become more stressful than the bigger items on your checklist. We’re talking about flower girls, ring bearers, wedding accessories/shoes, wedding party attire and accessories, decor and favors. Don’t forget you might need to block off rooms at a hotel for your guests, and also plan your wedding rehearsal and honeymoon.

Our most important advice: start with the big items first and make your way down the list. Try to take breaks in-between wedding planning, and remember to enjoy the moment as you get ready to start your next chapter with your future spouse.

Written By Vows & Forever Founder and Veteran Journalist Maria Cid. V&F is a wedding vows & speech writing service that also specializes in speech coaching and wedding timeline coordination.