Don’t feel you have any other choice but to fire a bridesmaid? Keep reading.

Asking a gal pal to be part of your bride tribe is a big deal. They’re expected to be one of your biggest cheerleaders on your journey to saying “I do.”

But what happens when your bridesmaid (or groomsman) is M.I.A., a negative Nancy or worse — jealous of your happily ever after?

While we don’t suggest firing someone from your wedding party if they’re being slightly challenging, we do think you should reconsider replacing a bridesmaid if they’re being downright difficult or nasty.

Here are ways to deal with dumping a bridesmaid, if you think you have no other option.

First, try to be positive.

This is the last thing you should be worried about amid wedding planning. But if one of your bridesmaids is acting up, try to smile and keep a positive outlook. Maybe they’re just having a difficult time in their life. We’re all allowed to have a bad day (or week). You likely asked this person to be part of your wedding party because they’ve proven they’ll be there for you through thick and thin (at least we hope that’s why you asked them). Brush off her negative comments and try not to let it get to you.

As much as you likely can’t take on anymore, here’s to hoping this will blow over and she’ll come back around to being supportive, positive and focused on her bridesmaid duties.

Talk to her.

If that doesn’t work, and your bridesmaid is still demanding, weighing you down with her pessimism or just absent from all wedding party activities — pull her aside and ask her if everything is OK. Try not to be confrontational. Go to her with genuine concern, let her know you’ve noticed she hasn’t been the same and ask her if she’s still OK taking on the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid. She may just need a friend to talk to, and be grateful you asked.

Keep your distance.

If you still want to keep her by your side on your wedding day, there’s nothing wrong with giving her some space while she deals with her personal life, and (maybe) how to show up for you at the same time. Allowing her some time away from bride tribe activities may be all she needs to hit the reset button and come back around. In the meantime, lean on the rest of your wedding party for help with wedding tasks, such as finding bridesmaid dresses and shoes. Whatever you do — don’t make your bridesmaid feel left out. For example, don’t go on your bachelorette trip without her. Instead try not to rely on her as much as the other girls to help with planning the trip.

If you decide to keep her on as a bridesmaid, don’t gossip with the rest of your wedding party about the situation. You wouldn’t want them to turn on her and make things awkward or worse, especially on your wedding day.

Dump her.

If you’ve done everything you can to deal with the situation, but it’s only gotten worse or you just can’t take it anymore — make sure you’re 100% certain you want to dump your bridesmaid and replace her. Once you pull the trigger, there’s likely no turning back. Keep in mind that this decision will change your friendship and possibly damage it for good (or maybe it’s already destroyed).

If you do decide to go this route, pick up the phone or meet up in-person. Don’t fire her through text or give her the cold shoulder.

Tell her this isn’t an easy decision and you hope your friendship stays intact, but that you need to make sure you’re surrounded by love and positivity on your wedding day. That’s why you’re making the difficult decision to rescind your proposal to have her be your bridesmaid. Let her know you hope she can work through whatever she’s dealing with now that she doesn’t have any bridesmaid duties to worry about.

Try NOT to beat around the bush, list all the things she’s done wrong or give her a chance to speak. Hear her out, and reiterate this is not an easy decision, but that you’ve made up your mind and you hope she can still make it to your wedding as a guest (if you want).

Prepare for the fall out.

The conversation won’t be easy, and it’ll likely be emotional. Try not to react with anger as much as possible. It’s tough being rejected and it’s not easy to hear you’re being dumped.

Hear her out. Then walk away before it can get ugly. Unfortunately, you may never hear from her again or she may try to gossip behind your back.

Remember you made a decision that was best for you, move on and focus on your wedding day.

Written By Vows & Forever Founder and Veteran Journalist Maria Cid. V&F is a wedding vows & speech writing service that also specializes in speech coaching and wedding timeline coordination.